Doggy Diets

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GIRL: I’m very concerned about your blood pressure.

DOG: Your concern, your problem.

GIRL: Your diet should have fixed this.

DOG: I never agreed to any diet.

GIRL: Doggy! Have you been eating leftover Happy Meals again?

DOG: ……..

GIRL: I specifically told you—

DOG: It’s not my fault you never finish your dinner! If I didn’t eat it, it would have gone to waste!

GIRL: I’m very disappointed.

DOG: It was very delicious.

GIRL: It was bad for your health!

DOG: I regret nothing.

GIRL: You really need to watch your health at your age.

DOG: What do you mean ‘at your age’?!

GIRL: You’re old.

DOG: You’re four!

GIRL: You’re still old.

DOG: Compared to you, these curtains are old!

GIRL: You’re still old! No more Happy Meal leftovers for you! I mean it!

DOG: But—

GIRL: No more Happy Meals, and that’s final! Now, sit still and let me listen to your heart.

DOG: I can’t believe I put up with this.